{"id":11938,"date":"2014-03-02T10:43:06","date_gmt":"2014-03-02T18:43:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dailywaffle.com\/stage1\/?p=11938"},"modified":"2018-07-30T10:32:28","modified_gmt":"2018-07-30T17:32:28","slug":"grandmas-bacon-fried-rice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailywaffle.com\/stage1\/grandmas-bacon-fried-rice\/","title":{"rendered":"The Rule of Fried Rice"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/dailywaffle.com\/stage1\/2014\/03\/02\/grandmas-bacon-fried-rice\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-11940\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"lazyload_inited aligncenter size-full wp-image-11940\" src=\"https:\/\/dailywaffle.com\/stage1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/grandmas-fried-rice-2-dailywaffle.jpg\" alt=\"grandmas fried rice | dailywaffle\" width=\"500\" height=\"755\" srcset=\"https:\/\/dailywaffle.com\/stage1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/grandmas-fried-rice-2-dailywaffle.jpg 500w, https:\/\/dailywaffle.com\/stage1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/grandmas-fried-rice-2-dailywaffle-198x300.jpg 198w, https:\/\/dailywaffle.com\/stage1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/grandmas-fried-rice-2-dailywaffle-397x600.jpg 397w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"line-height: 1.5em;\">Grandmas are liars. There, I said it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Look inside their recipes boxes or the careful cursive recipes on scraps of paper stuck inside other cookbooks and you\u2019ll know their dark hearts.\u00a0 Lists of ingredients, no amounts, sometimes no instructions.<\/p>\n<p>These lies aren\u2019t intentionally meant to deceive. Or to maintain an illusion, like Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy. These lies are lesser crimes, crimes of omission. But lies nevertheless.\u00a0 Like with my Grandma\u2019s Fried Rice.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>I love you and miss you, Grandma, but your fried rice never had green peppers or water chestnuts in it. At least not any I ate during the 80s.\u00a0 Maybe it was a transcription error or maybe it\u2019s just the nature of a recipe itself. A recipe is not a law, \u00a0a set of hard and fast rules. Maybe the fried rice recipe is just the way you happened to make it the day you wrote it down.\u00a0 Recipes it turns out are just as faulty as memory worn with time.<\/p>\n<p>The only way to learn how to make Grandma\u2019s Fried Rice was to stand at the stove, eat it and then pick it apart later. Only by the time I was standing at the stove, I was left by myself, trial-and-mostly-erroring as I made batch after batch of fried rice.\u00a0 There was nothing objectively wrong with my fried rice, it just wasn\u2019t hers.<\/p>\n<p>But now, I think I\u2019ve figured it out.<\/p>\n<p>Although fried rice is meant to be a leftover dish, made out of whatever you\u2019ve got, don\u2019t believe it.\u00a0 There are absolutes. And then the absolutes dissolve into shoulds, which dissolve into if-you-cans, and the whole thing goes to hell.\u00a0 If you\u2019re ok with this, proceed.<\/p>\n<p>The inexactitude starts with the very first ingredient \u2013 <span style=\"color: #d6283d;\"><strong>rice<\/strong><\/span>. \u00a0Rice cookers come with a little plastic cup for measuring rice.\u00a0 It has markings on it, but if you actually measure one plastic cup of rice and pour it into a standard dry measuring cup \u2013 it\u2019s slightly less than one cup.\u00a0 Add to that the fact that you don\u2019t measure the water.\u00a0 You simply cover the rice with water and stick your index finger into the bowl. If the water comes up to the first knuckle, the first bend in your finger, you\u2019ve got the right amount.\u00a0 You want 2 plastic cups of rice.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #d6283d;\"><strong>4 slices of Oscar Mayer bacon<\/strong><\/span>, or 3 slices of thick, center cut, uncured bacon. Sliced into \u00bc inch strips. Rendered.<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #d6283d;\">Oil<\/span>.\u00a0<\/strong> Ok, fine, canola.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #d6283d;\"><strong>Three eggs.<\/strong><\/span> The Rule of Fried Rice is you must always have three eggs in your refrigerator. Apparently. Because this is meant to be whatever you\u2019ve got, but really it should be three eggs. Beat them just lightly.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #d6283d;\"><strong>Shoyu<\/strong><\/span>. I can\u2019t tell you how much, because it\u2019s about \u201cthis much.\u201d A skoshi-bit.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #d6283d;\"><strong>Two green onions<\/strong>.<\/span> Sliced thinly.<\/p>\n<p>Half a cup of frozen <strong><span style=\"color: #d6283d;\">green peas<\/span><\/strong>, thawed.<\/p>\n<p>Fried rice will make liars out of all of us.<\/p><!-- Start GADSWPV-3.6 --><center><div id=\"ga_29466488\"> <\/div><div style=\"text-align:right; width:300px; padding:5px 0;\">\r\n   <img class=\"lazyload_inited\" src=\"https:\/\/bcdn.grmtas.com\/images\/gourmetads-logo.jpg\" alt=\"logo\" style=\"float:right; border:none;\" \/>\r\n   <div style=\"width:auto; padding:4px 5px 0 0; float:right; display:inline-block; font-family:Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:11px; color:#333;\">\r\n      <a href=\"https:\/\/www.gourmetads.com\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Food Advertisements\" style=\"text-decoration:none; color:#333;\">Food Advertisements<\/a> by\r\n   <\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/center><!-- End GADSWPV-3.6 -->\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Grandmas are liars. There, I said it. Look inside their recipes boxes or the careful cursive recipes on scraps of paper stuck inside other cookbooks and you\u2019ll know their dark hearts.\u00a0 Lists of ingredients, no amounts, sometimes no instructions. These lies aren\u2019t intentionally meant to deceive. Or to maintain an illusion, like Santa Claus or&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11939,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1115,35],"tags":[89,795,181,179,911,912,913,75],"class_list":["post-11938","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cooking","category-recipes","tag-bacon","tag-family","tag-fried-rice","tag-japanese","tag-japanese-american","tag-oscar-meyer","tag-recipes-2","tag-rice"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Rule of Fried Rice - DailyWaffle<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Michelle\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/dailywaffle.com\/stage1\/grandmas-bacon-fried-rice\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/dailywaffle.com\/stage1\/grandmas-bacon-fried-rice\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Michelle\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/dailywaffle.com\/stage1\/#\/schema\/person\/699f5bbc3243018b1b4177972fd4c932\"},\"headline\":\"The Rule of Fried Rice\",\"datePublished\":\"2014-03-02T18:43:06+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2018-07-30T17:32:28+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/dailywaffle.com\/stage1\/grandmas-bacon-fried-rice\/\"},\"wordCount\":507,\"commentCount\":1,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/dailywaffle.com\/stage1\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/dailywaffle.com\/stage1\/grandmas-bacon-fried-rice\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/dailywaffle.com\/stage1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/grandmas-fried-rice-dailywaffle.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"bacon\",\"family\",\"fried rice\",\"Japanese\",\"japanese-American\",\"oscar meyer\",\"recipes\",\"rice\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Cooking\",\"Recipes\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/dailywaffle.com\/stage1\/grandmas-bacon-fried-rice\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/dailywaffle.com\/stage1\/grandmas-bacon-fried-rice\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/dailywaffle.com\/stage1\/grandmas-bacon-fried-rice\/\",\"name\":\"The Rule of Fried Rice - 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