On the last day, she came up to my office one last time. I heard her slowly coming up the stairs and then stop in the hallway, catching her breath. She looked around the corner at me and then settled herself — not on her bed in the usual spot under the window, just adjacent to my desk on the carpet.
On the last day, she didn’t run down the stairs to bark at a truck that pulled up to the house, but she stood up where she was and gave them 2 good barks that said, “Hey buddy, I know you’re here. I’m an old lady, but you better not try anything.”
On the last day, on tentative legs, she stuck her snout out the car window and snoofed up the smells. We were on the freeway, so I imagine it was a combo of dry summer trees, car exhaust and a hamburger and fries someone was eating while driving.
On the last day, she decided she didn’t want anymore Greenies.
On the last day, as we waited in the exam room in the vet’s office, I crouched down and she stuck her head between my knees for one last good, long neck scratch. And left eye boogers on my jeans.
On the last day, I got home and had a late lunch at my desk. Just a turkey and cheddar sandwich on wheat. I broke apart the last two bites with just a sliver of turkey on them. But I was alone, there was no one there waiting, no one to share it with.
8.30.13
View Comments (8)
Oh my goodness....just combing through your blog and came across this post. I have tears welled up in my eyes and a big frog in my throat that's not allowing me to swallow. I am so sorry Michelle :(
Thanks, Kim. :) It was a rough end to the summer, but a good reminder to give your 4-legged family members an extra big hug.
She was so beautiful - what a joy she had to have been in your life. I am really sorry for your loss.
Even in grief, you are a beautiful writer who manages to capture everything. I don't know how many times I've shared the last bite of whatever I'm eating with my pooch, torn the final bite of toast in half, so that last paragraph just made me cry.
Nothing anyone can say will lessen your loss, especially a comment on the internet, but that doesn't stop me from letting you know how truly sorry I am. Some dogs come into our lives by chance, make our lives whole, and are gone too soon.
Oh Michelle, I'm thinking of you. Sending you a warm hug. xo
Thanks, Hannah. I didn't want to overdo it on these posts, but I just loved her so much.
She was a good dog. You loved her well.
Thanks, Dana, Tracey & Dev. She was a good girl. And she will be missed terribly. I appreciate you reaching out - I wasn't sure how these non-food posts would be received, but I'm glad to have the support.